A Western Buddhist's Travels

Sightseeing & detours on the path of enlightenment

For those who suffer from anxiety, here’s a great post. It illustrates that those who practice meditation still suffer the same afflictions as those who don’t practice. The difference is that we are learning the tools to allow us, to overcome these afflictions, so they take less of our thoughts and energy as we become more skillful at using the tools we have acquired. Her blog is written as a personal journey, that we are privileged to be invited to share in. She doesn’t hide the struggles, rather she shows how she gains knowledge and strength from them.

Just, sit.

Heart racing, mind cycling through the same scenario, over and over.  Breath is short.  The hot, electric surge of adrenaline up the back and down the legs.  Trying to drift to sleep, the neurons fire up bringing abrupt awareness.  Surge. thump-tha-thump. he said she said image words he said she said why is it like this images  breathbreathbreath ….

This is a description of an attack of anxiety under the lens of meditation.  After all these months of practice, I found I had enough equanimity to be aware, whilst the anxieties played out their fantasy drama on the network of nerves.  It feels like one would imagine a parade band on drugs – getting faster, and also, getting more out of tune.

Sleep, when it came, was filled with weird monsters and strange interactions strangely tacked onto real life memories.  The body was trying to run, trying to fight…

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