A Western Buddhist's Travels

Sightseeing & detours on the path of enlightenment

Some humorous advice for the ladies or a gentle reminder to us guys

I am going to use a joke about computer programs to make a point about relationships.

Installing Your Husband

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

***

DEAR DESPERATE,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

How many of us go into a relationship with unrealistic expectations. Women think the guy will change to be more what the lady wants. The guy is thinking great I can quit all this courting and wooing stuff and just enjoy life. Both are wrong, as in a relationship things will change. However if both parties try to put the relationship ahead of their own desires things will become better overtime. When we have to try to get the focus back on the relationship from external forces, is the first sign of a problem. It is at this point we need to have a talk with our spouse and openly and honestly talk about issues. Looking for a new OS for a broken computer won’t work. Also looking for a new relationship without having exhausted all reasonable efforts to repair an existing one, will not lead to happiness. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is a sign that the problems are within not external. The Buddha taught that happiness is from within ourselves not from external sources.

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