A Western Buddhist's Travels

Sightseeing & detours on the path of enlightenment

No I or U in love

A quick explanation in case anyone who reads this isn’t fluent in English. U the letter is pronounced or said the same as the word you. So this may not work the same in another language, but the message remains the same.

Love works best when there is no I or you involved. If we go into a romantic relationship with thoughts of what we will gain, we are starting off on the wrong foot, for walking down the path of romance. Conversely if we make it all about the other person, that will not work either, as sooner or later our ego will say, hey what’s in this for me?

It is when we give our love without an expectation of specific responses in return that we can let the relationship grow, be happier in it, and have fewer problems.  If as a male, the only time I say I love you to my spouse, is when we are already in bed, and I want to initiate sex, then soon she will equate those words with just wanting sex. If however I say them at breakfast, at random times of the day, or when we part each others company for the day, and even the occasional phone call just to tell her those words, then she will feel loved, and not think I only say it when I want something. For the lady, saying I love you to your husband just before you want to ask him to buy something, or do something is like trying to bribe him, soon us guys here those words, and we think “what does she want this time. So the same thing applies ladies, say them through out the day. Also if it is love it is not all one sided both should benefit, usually fairly equally, but at times one or the other more so. It is during those times the person benefiting the most needs to share, and the person who isn’t benefiting as much needs to be happy for the other person, and delight in their joy. So love is the interaction between two people, the thoughts, words, and actions. So is there an I or U when you say love?


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