A Western Buddhist's Travels

Sightseeing & detours on the path of enlightenment

Our beliefs can predetermine our actions

First of this incident never happened, it is a humorous way of examining how our beliefs can determine how we do things. Each faith attempts to give it’s followers the tools and traditions that best exemplify the proper way to accomplish the goals expected. By using this situation that would not happen, as an illustrative point, I hope it brings a smile to your face, while causing you to think about how your thoughts predetermine how you will react, in an unusual situation or even an everyday occurring one.

Competitive Conversion

A priest, a Southern Baptist preacher, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk all served as chaplains to the students of UCLA. .

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn’t really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. “Well,” he said, “I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary, Mother of God, he became as gentle as lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.”

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, “WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don’t sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear.

And then I began to read to my bear from God‘s HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.”

The priest, monk, and the reverend all looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said, “Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.”

Then they all turned to the monk, and said they were sorry he couldn’t find a bear. The monk answered, but I did find a bear, in fact I found 3 different bears. Early that day the first walked past me as I was meditating by the lake, we looked at each other, the bear accepted me, I accepted him, and we continued on our own paths. A while later, I was eating some delicious blueberries, when I met the second bear, there were many berries and we each ate our share without making the other feel threatened, and then went our own way. Finally as I was walking back to the road, I was almost knocked over by a bear that was bleeding. After a little time, I was able to show the bear I had no desire to hurt it, and it accepted I wanted to give it aid. So I tore part of my robe, and stuffed it with some moss, and applied it to the bear’s unusual wounds. It was falling asleep as I left it, to return to the city.

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