A Western Buddhist's Travels

Sightseeing & detours on the path of enlightenment

A balanced relationship

As long as man has walked on this earth, he has searched for happiness. This is what separates us from the animals we share our existence with. They experience pleasure but not happiness. Happiness is more complex then pleasure. During sex we feel physical pleasure and also emotional pleasures. However if there is no deeper connection, afterwards we will probably feel guilt or remorse instead of happiness. Having a bond that extends beyond the physical is what brings happiness to humans beyond the pleasure from the physical act. Where sex is the like the icing on the cake it is most satisfying. If the cake is made with love, compassion mutual respect and equality, then the icing has a strong base and enhances the appearance and flavour of the cake. A cake made entirely of just icing may look appealing, but will not satisfy our hunger, nor will it hold its shape for long. When a husband surprises his wife by remembering not only his wedding anniversary, but perhaps the date they first met, or where they went on their first date, will bring a feeling of closeness and make her feel valued, for herself rather then what she does for him. In the Sigalovada Sutta Buddha gives us guidelines for a happy and long lasting marriage. Firstly marriage is a union of two equals, where both accept the other as they are. This does not mean they are identical; rather that each has a role to perform. Critics say this formula is outdated in today’s modern society where both work outside the home. Nothing could be further from the truth.  Buddha described marriage as a union between a man and woman as equals. It consists of a mutually supportive environment, where each uses their skills in an appreciated manner with appropriate support and recognition. Applying calmness, generosity, in a nurturing manner with dedication, and generosity will allow a nurturing environment where the family will be sheltered from loneliness, fear of abandonment, and other deprivations.

The concept that the husband should yield household authority to his wife is even more important today. Note, when he yields to her authority it does not mean he leaves all the household work for her, nor does it mean he becomes her slave. Rather it allows the wife to use her natural maternal instincts, to promote a harmonious home life. A wise husband will gladly help with the daily chores of the family home. Sharing in the cooking, cleaning, laundry will show his wife she is valued as an equal. Also it means they will have more free time to express their love for each other, in conversation, more time spent with children, enjoying a family vacation or day trip. Modern psychologists have recently discovered that women who have husbands, who share in house work, are more likely to have a happy sex life in the bedroom. She isn’t too tired and she feels a closer connection to her partner. Look at the list of things that make a happy marriage today, and you will see what Buddha gave us as guidelines over 2500 years ago.

Buddha told us there are four types of humans in this world. Those who give no thought to their actions and he consequences of their actions, on themselves or towards others. The self centred whose every action is to secure an advantage for him. Those who work to help others, but ignore their own needs. Finally there are those who work to benefit those around them, as well as themselves. In marriage we need to strive to be like the latter. When both husband and wife put the interests of the marriage above those of the individuals, you will see a couple that experiences happiness more than sadness or disappointment. Misunderstanding of what each other says; combined with impatience, are among the main causes of problems. We must remember that we are all mirrors that reflect according to how we polish the mirror. The faults we see in our partner in marriage are a reflection of our own thoughts and insecurities.

Advertisements

Single Post Navigation

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Urban Studies

An online community of SFU Urban Studies students, alumni, and friends!

Kindness Blog

Kindness Images, Videos, True Life Stories, Quotes, Personal Reflections and Meditations.

Sa-wat-dii From Thailand

Thoughts on the Peace Corps and Thailand

NorthThailand Blog

North Thailand photos and Travel destination information

Buddhist Art News

News on Buddhist art, architecture, archaeology, music, dance, and academia.

Nomadic Megan

Travel Blogger, Freelance Writer, TESOL Teacher & Professional Vagabond.

roselovesthailand

Just another WordPress.com site

Renard Moreau Presents

Cool Miscellaneous Thoughts

Walking with the Alligators

Speaking for those with no voice~

Gabriel Lucatero

Official Site of a Hardly-known Writer

Untangling the Tangles

Teja's blog on Everything that Concerns US

words of wisdom

words of wisdon, where we share our thoughts.

Vincent Desrus's Blog

Blog created to make people think about the world around them

Stories That Are All True

...and some of them actually happened.

Dishing It Out With Clarissa

Sharing stories, tips, life hacks, killer dishes I love to eat and more. Oh did i meantion FOOD!!

A happy organic vegetarian journey

Happiness. Healthy. Loving-Kindness.

The Horror Online

Horror With Humour

IshaiyaFreshlySqueezed

A Metaphysical Journey

LEANNE COLE

Fine Art Photographer ~ Daring to be Different

Schelley Cassidy Photography

Home of What Is It?!? - A Project in Perspective

Hannah Sterry

Musician, cartoonist and UX Designer based in Plymouth, Devon.

most good least harm

Living compassionately, spending less and appreciating life.

The Heart of Awakening

Searching for the New Paradigm

rashmidevi.wordpress.com/

Metta Bhav Yoga & Thai Massage

moodsnmoments

where some moods and certain moments last a lifetime!!!

%d bloggers like this: